Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Friday, April 15, 2011
Fengtastic strikes again
Captioning an ordinary image, with humor! See the others at http://www.fengtastic.com/ Thanks Steve!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Kids have gotten upgraded from the radio flyers
Her radio flyer was customized in a cool way, raw welds look good, and the license plate is cool 
the gold and blue have controls in the handles to raise or lower the car bodies like air bagged customs 
Stuck in line at a toll booth, and there is only one gate open, what does your car club do? These guys drift
Found on http://smellslikecurry.blogspot.com/
All the action is from the 30 second to the 3 minute 30 second points, but to see the far out mod cars in Japan watch after that
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Ezra Dyer, terrific funny writer, his latest column excerpt
Speaking of the Ferrari 458 Italia:
" ... the 458 makes its horsepower peak at its redline. So if you want to access all 562 hp, you have to hang in there until 9000 rpm. In fact, if you let the tach drop below the 7000 rpm, it will start raining because you made Enzo Ferrari cry from heaven. " Love this guys writing!
If you want to read a couple articles from Ezra, and he writes for Men's Journal and Autmobile Magazine, there are some online:
Food trucks, not the roach coach of the recent past.. Chef Miron is cooking in the MIHO food truck. It's underground restauranting. No landlord!
I happened to photograph these shiny new food trucks before seeing the magazine, not from coincidence, but I suspect due to a publicity push to get the word out and draw out easy push overs like me to add to the cool new craze of superb cooking that can go head to head with restaurant food, read the San Diego Reader article (well researched and well written as always) http://www.sandiegoreader.com/news/2011/apr/06/cover-food-trucks Sunday, April 3, 2011
Some new company is ready to make bumpercars street ready and presumeably sell them... but they didn't have a website listed, just an email
If I hear back from my email to them I'll post it for your use. The information card on the windshield said "annonymous" and Boulder City Arizona. If you like the bumper car idea, and want to see the Tom Wright's fleet: http://justacarguy.blogspot.com/2010/02/update-on-bumpercars.html
Saturday, April 2, 2011
things turn out badly when this Porsche Cayenne doesn't let the big truck tow him out
when the tire blew out, it struck the fender so hard it popped the airbags, now that Porshe owner has a problem
Friday, April 1, 2011
The latest from BMW engineering, dog repellent rims
via: http://www.norcalminis.com/ For other great april fools pranks: http://www.norcalminis.com/2011/04/some-great-auto-related-april-fools-day.html
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Jeremy and Hector buy a 62 Split window kombi (VW micro bus), from the comic strip Zits, one of my favorites
Great comic strip by Scott and Borgman
Saturday, March 26, 2011
One of the decal muscle cars, the Rebel Machine
This is the best and biggest photo I've come across of the decal, I had to share it.
Friday, March 25, 2011
My Cousin Vinny hysterical comedy bit, and the awesome positraction Tempest defense
Vinny Gambini: Maybe you didn't twist it hard enough.
Lisa: I twisted it just right.
Vinny Gambini: How could you be so sure?
Lisa: [sighs] If you will look in the manual, you will see that this particular model faucet requires a range of 10 to 16 foot-pounds of torque. I routinely twist the maximum allowable torquage.
Vinny Gambini: Well, how could you be sure you used 16 foot-pounds of torque?
Lisa: Because I used a Craftsman model 1019 Laboratory Edition Signature Series torque wrench. The kind used by Caltech high energy physicists. And NASA engineers.
Vinny Gambini: Well, in that case, how can you be sure THAT's accurate?
Lisa: Because a split second before the torque wrench was applied to the faucet handle, it had been calibrated by top members of the state AND federal Department of Weights and Measures... to be dead on balls accurate!
[She rips a page out of a magazine and hands it to him]
Lisa: Here's the certificate of validation.
Vinny Gambini: Dead on balls accurate?
Lisa: It's an industry term.
Vinny Gambini: [tosses paper away] I guess the fucking thing is broken.
Lisa: The car that made these two, equal-length tire marks had positraction. You can't make those marks without positraction, which was not available on the '64 Buick Skylark!
Vinny Gambini: And why not? What is positraction?
Lisa: It's a limited slip differential which distributes power equally to both the right and left tires. The '64 Skylark had a regular differential, which, anyone who's been stuck in the mud in Alabama knows, you step on the gas, one tire spins, the other tire does nothing.
[the jury members nod, with murmurs of "yes," "that's right," etc]
Vinny Gambini: Is that it?
Lisa: No, there's more! You see? When the left tire mark goes up on the curb and the right tire mark stays flat and even? Well, the '64 Skylark had a solid rear axle, so when the left tire would go up on the curb, the right tire would tilt out and ride along its edge. But that didn't happen here. The tire mark stayed flat and even. This car had an independent rear suspension. Now, in the '60's, there were only two other cars made in America that had positraction, and independent rear suspension, and enough power to make these marks. One was the Corvette, which could never be confused with the Buick Skylark. The other had the same body length, height, width, weight, wheel base, and wheel track as the '64 Skylark, and that was the 1963 Pontiac Tempest.
Vinny Gambini: And because both cars were made by GM, were both cars available in metallic mint green paint?
Lisa: They were!
Lisa: I twisted it just right.
Vinny Gambini: How could you be so sure?
Lisa: [sighs] If you will look in the manual, you will see that this particular model faucet requires a range of 10 to 16 foot-pounds of torque. I routinely twist the maximum allowable torquage.
Vinny Gambini: Well, how could you be sure you used 16 foot-pounds of torque?
Lisa: Because I used a Craftsman model 1019 Laboratory Edition Signature Series torque wrench. The kind used by Caltech high energy physicists. And NASA engineers.
Vinny Gambini: Well, in that case, how can you be sure THAT's accurate?
Lisa: Because a split second before the torque wrench was applied to the faucet handle, it had been calibrated by top members of the state AND federal Department of Weights and Measures... to be dead on balls accurate!
[She rips a page out of a magazine and hands it to him]
Lisa: Here's the certificate of validation.
Vinny Gambini: Dead on balls accurate?
Lisa: It's an industry term.
Vinny Gambini: [tosses paper away] I guess the fucking thing is broken.
Lisa: The car that made these two, equal-length tire marks had positraction. You can't make those marks without positraction, which was not available on the '64 Buick Skylark!
Vinny Gambini: And why not? What is positraction?
Lisa: It's a limited slip differential which distributes power equally to both the right and left tires. The '64 Skylark had a regular differential, which, anyone who's been stuck in the mud in Alabama knows, you step on the gas, one tire spins, the other tire does nothing.
[the jury members nod, with murmurs of "yes," "that's right," etc]
Vinny Gambini: Is that it?
Lisa: No, there's more! You see? When the left tire mark goes up on the curb and the right tire mark stays flat and even? Well, the '64 Skylark had a solid rear axle, so when the left tire would go up on the curb, the right tire would tilt out and ride along its edge. But that didn't happen here. The tire mark stayed flat and even. This car had an independent rear suspension. Now, in the '60's, there were only two other cars made in America that had positraction, and independent rear suspension, and enough power to make these marks. One was the Corvette, which could never be confused with the Buick Skylark. The other had the same body length, height, width, weight, wheel base, and wheel track as the '64 Skylark, and that was the 1963 Pontiac Tempest.
Vinny Gambini: And because both cars were made by GM, were both cars available in metallic mint green paint?
Lisa: They were!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
the Parking Lot Movie, a documentary movie looking at how people act in parking lots, it's good.
The film follows a select group of parking lot attendants and their strange rite of passage. The eccentric brotherhood of attendants consist of grad students, overeducated philosophers, surly artists, middle-age slackers and more.
They hang out at the lot even in their spare time, shooting the breeze or playing a spirited game of "flip cone," just because...they like it there. They conduct their own private "war" against the elites, the pretentious and obnoxious customers who park their BMWs, Hummers, Suburbans and other vehicles.
They study the art of doing nothing and the knack of getting even with rude, SUV-driving dolts who treat them like inferior beings. The gradual devolution from enthusiasm to resentment in the psyches of guys self-aware enough to notice it is an interesting process; in an attempt to distract themselves from the rapidly mounting bitterness, the attendants amuse themselves any way they can-stenciling random messages on the parking gate, writing songs, even dancing for tips.
Through interviews with former attendants who have moved on - you can see that their time at the lot has clearly provided rites of passage and afforded them Zen-like perspective. Most were college students while working there, some are still college students.
This is on instant download on Netflix, and a better preview is at http://www.imdb.com/video/wab/vi2759262745/
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Jeremy Clarkson's 10 Commandments
1. Thou Shalt Not Walk Anywhere
A simple one. You must always drive wherever you are going. Walking is for Guardian-readers, public transport is for poor people and cycling is for people like Richard Hammond, and you don’t want to be like him, do you?
If your route is blocked by, say, a pavement or a doorway, then just buy a micro-car like an old Messerschmitt. Yes, it’s very small, and no, it hasn’t got a stonking great V8 engine in it, but it’s small enough to fit into your office lift and if it means that you’ll never have to walk again…
2. Thou Shalt Not Use The Devil’s Fluid
No, not that; I mean diesel. Not only do diesel-powered cars smell funny and make a horrid noise, they are too slow.
In his book Born to be Riled he says of a diesel driver: “he drops a cog to get that hideously inefficient engine into the upper echelons of its miserable power band … it’s hard to tell he’s done this because, obviously, there’s no discernible change in pace.” ‘Nuff said?
3. Thou shalt Not Visit Norfolk
I’m not sure why he detests Norfolk so much but it might have something to do with it having no motorways, hardly any petrol stations and being impossible to get to. You’d think that being home to Lotus Cars would have changed his mind, wouldn’t you?
But no, even being the home to the Elise and Exige isn’t enough to stop him from saying that you should avoid it unless you like “orgies and the ritual slaying of farmyard animals”.
4. Thou Shall Worship Bob Segar
Clarkson is famous for his love of dodgy 1970s prog-rock but when asked what six CDs he’d have in his autochanger for a drive across Europe five out of the six were Bob Segar. (The sixth was the Doobie Brothers, in case you were wondering.)
5. Thou Shalt Not Drive Front-Wheel Drive Cars
Clarkson loves his rear-wheel drive cars and won’t drive anything else – unless, of course, it’s an Alfa Romeo, or a Peugeot 205 GTI, or a VW Polo GTi, all of which can be forgiven for their inability to shred their rear tyres while doing doughnuts…
6. Thou Shall Worship The Range Rover
A big V8 petrol engine, British-made (just), go-anywhere ability, and the eco-mentalists hate them. He dedicated his book Driven to Distraction to “Everyone who made my Range Rover” and went on to say “Well done chaps. It’s brilliant.”
7. Thou Shall Be As Offensive As Possible About Foreigners
If you go to America then you must refer to it as the “Land of the brave … home of the dim”, in Vietnam you must remind them of the war and in Holland you must assume that everyone takes drugs and indulges in man-love.
Germans are “Nazis”, Koreans all eat dogs and the Mexicans are “lazy” and Mexico “doesn’t have an Olympic team… because anyone who can run, jump or swim is already across the border”.
His most offensive comment, though, was reserved for Ethiopia, when he said that a particular car: “should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.”
8. Thou Shall Worship The Toyota Hilux
As well as getting him, James May and half-a-dozen Quail’s eggs to the magnetic North Pole (and beating Hammond there, which was the best bit) Clarkson also tested another Hilux by crashing it, burning it, drowning it and dropping it off a tower block, none of which could kill it.
The remains (still capable of being driven) are displayed in the Top Gear studio.
9. Thou Shall Run A Dictatorship
The Top Gear “Cool Wall” is the very model of good taste. The test “would Kristin Scott Thomas be impressed if you picked her up in it?” (although Kristin has been replaced recently by Fiona Bruce after she displayed some odd attitudes towards cars and said that she owned a Honda Civic…) is rigorously applied and Hammond and Clarkson generally agree on what’s cool and what isn’t.
However, if they disagree then Clarkson has the casting vote as he claims that he never said that Top Gear was a democracy. (He will also put the cards high up to stop Hammond moving them too!)
10. Thou Must Hate Piers Morgan
Piers ran two pictures in The Mirror showing Jeremy allegedly kissing a woman. Jeremy responded by punching him in the face at the British Press Awards and throwing water over him during Concorde’s last flight. Mind you, doesn’t hitting Piers just make us love him even more?
From http://www.breakdowncover.org/blog/jeremy-clarkson-10-commandments thanks to Chris!
If you like Clarkson's sense of humor, his best quotes are here: http://justacarguy.blogspot.com/2010/05/25-awesome-jeremy-clarkson-quotes.html
A simple one. You must always drive wherever you are going. Walking is for Guardian-readers, public transport is for poor people and cycling is for people like Richard Hammond, and you don’t want to be like him, do you?
If your route is blocked by, say, a pavement or a doorway, then just buy a micro-car like an old Messerschmitt. Yes, it’s very small, and no, it hasn’t got a stonking great V8 engine in it, but it’s small enough to fit into your office lift and if it means that you’ll never have to walk again…
2. Thou Shalt Not Use The Devil’s Fluid
No, not that; I mean diesel. Not only do diesel-powered cars smell funny and make a horrid noise, they are too slow.
In his book Born to be Riled he says of a diesel driver: “he drops a cog to get that hideously inefficient engine into the upper echelons of its miserable power band … it’s hard to tell he’s done this because, obviously, there’s no discernible change in pace.” ‘Nuff said?
3. Thou shalt Not Visit Norfolk
I’m not sure why he detests Norfolk so much but it might have something to do with it having no motorways, hardly any petrol stations and being impossible to get to. You’d think that being home to Lotus Cars would have changed his mind, wouldn’t you?
But no, even being the home to the Elise and Exige isn’t enough to stop him from saying that you should avoid it unless you like “orgies and the ritual slaying of farmyard animals”.
4. Thou Shall Worship Bob Segar
Clarkson is famous for his love of dodgy 1970s prog-rock but when asked what six CDs he’d have in his autochanger for a drive across Europe five out of the six were Bob Segar. (The sixth was the Doobie Brothers, in case you were wondering.)
5. Thou Shalt Not Drive Front-Wheel Drive Cars
Clarkson loves his rear-wheel drive cars and won’t drive anything else – unless, of course, it’s an Alfa Romeo, or a Peugeot 205 GTI, or a VW Polo GTi, all of which can be forgiven for their inability to shred their rear tyres while doing doughnuts…
6. Thou Shall Worship The Range Rover
A big V8 petrol engine, British-made (just), go-anywhere ability, and the eco-mentalists hate them. He dedicated his book Driven to Distraction to “Everyone who made my Range Rover” and went on to say “Well done chaps. It’s brilliant.”
7. Thou Shall Be As Offensive As Possible About Foreigners
If you go to America then you must refer to it as the “Land of the brave … home of the dim”, in Vietnam you must remind them of the war and in Holland you must assume that everyone takes drugs and indulges in man-love.
Germans are “Nazis”, Koreans all eat dogs and the Mexicans are “lazy” and Mexico “doesn’t have an Olympic team… because anyone who can run, jump or swim is already across the border”.
His most offensive comment, though, was reserved for Ethiopia, when he said that a particular car: “should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite.”
8. Thou Shall Worship The Toyota Hilux
As well as getting him, James May and half-a-dozen Quail’s eggs to the magnetic North Pole (and beating Hammond there, which was the best bit) Clarkson also tested another Hilux by crashing it, burning it, drowning it and dropping it off a tower block, none of which could kill it.
The remains (still capable of being driven) are displayed in the Top Gear studio.
9. Thou Shall Run A Dictatorship
The Top Gear “Cool Wall” is the very model of good taste. The test “would Kristin Scott Thomas be impressed if you picked her up in it?” (although Kristin has been replaced recently by Fiona Bruce after she displayed some odd attitudes towards cars and said that she owned a Honda Civic…) is rigorously applied and Hammond and Clarkson generally agree on what’s cool and what isn’t.
However, if they disagree then Clarkson has the casting vote as he claims that he never said that Top Gear was a democracy. (He will also put the cards high up to stop Hammond moving them too!)
10. Thou Must Hate Piers Morgan
Piers ran two pictures in The Mirror showing Jeremy allegedly kissing a woman. Jeremy responded by punching him in the face at the British Press Awards and throwing water over him during Concorde’s last flight. Mind you, doesn’t hitting Piers just make us love him even more?
From http://www.breakdowncover.org/blog/jeremy-clarkson-10-commandments thanks to Chris!
If you like Clarkson's sense of humor, his best quotes are here: http://justacarguy.blogspot.com/2010/05/25-awesome-jeremy-clarkson-quotes.html
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Allrides has some cool stuff you oughta see
Just the thing to keep a farmer dry when using the tractor in the rain.
There are some things that have been done with VW vans that are a surprise to me, but making a bead blaster cabinet is pretty cool and useful, the waterfall in the garden... mighty unusual
a full size 4 door Caprice snow machine is a first.
see these and all the rest at http://allride.skynetblogs.be/index-12.html
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